Mark Peters got high for the first time at the age of five and turned to alcohol as a teenager.
"I knew I was an addict," he said. "I wasn't blind to the fact that there was alcoholism in my family."
Now 69 years old, the Glencoe resident is 12 years into his sobriety and open about his journey, particularly during Passover with alcohol an integral part of the Seder. "It's sharing my experience, strength, and hope with other people hoping that it makes their lives a little better," Peters explained. With that philosophy in mind, he helped launch a recovery Seder at North Shore Congregation Israel in 2018.
"The experience is for Jewish people in recovery and their allies, coming together to celebrate what it is to be free from not only [slavery] in ages past, but free from addiction dominating their lives now," said Cantor Rabbi Dr. Rob Jury, Founder and Clinical Director of Tikvah Center for Jewish Recovery and Healing in Northbrook.
"Some folks who are in recovery want to be at a recovery Seder because it's safer with regard to their sobriety and is that much more enriching and validating," added Beth Fishman, Program Manager of Addiction Services at JCFS Chicago.
For example,
A Haggadah for Spiritual Recovery
includes writings from people in recovery, including this passage about
karpas
: "I came out of my slavery to addiction, and the more I grow, the less bitter I am. My life in recovery has blossomed; I have gone from slavery to freedom."
Noting the difference between a recovery seder, which excludes alcohol and focuses on recovery, and an alcohol-free seder, which is a typical seder without alcohol, Fishman urges hosts of traditional seders to offer optional beverages.
"Grape juice should always be available," she said. "We don't always know in advance who is choosing not to drink because they're pregnant or they take medications that interact badly with alcohol. If somebody's raised in a family with parental addiction, they may choose to not hang around spaces where there is alcohol because it's triggering."
If this is the first seder for someone in recovery, Jury suggests leaving alcohol off the table completely to show respect and solidarity. And if a guest leaves early to head to a sober environment, extend praise. "Say, 'we're really proud that you're following your treatment plan,'" Jury advised.
Passover is not the only Jewish holiday that puts alcohol in the forefront, creating challenges in a community that historically has not acknowledged addiction. "We know from the research that the stigma about having a substance use disorder in the Jewish community is greater than in the general population," Jury said.
Jury is conducting a national survey on the incidence of addiction in the Jewish community but already knows anecdotally that it exists. As a congregational rabbi, he dealt with three overdose deaths, prompting him to study addiction and treatment during a sabbatical. When he returned to the pulpit and gave a sermon on the topic, it cracked open the conversation.
"At the end of that service, that was all people wanted to talk with me about," Jury recalled.
In 2021, he opened the Tikvah Center to provide primary care for adults in recovery. "We're really oriented around multiple Jewish experiences," Jury said. "We know what it is to have thought you are doing better and go to a Shabbat service and be offered the kiddush wine."
At JCFS Chicago's Addiction Services, Fishman and her colleagues provide education and resources that address Jewish ritual, cultural, and spiritual concerns within addiction and recovery, and people are responding. "Folks will call us and say, 'I felt like I could trust you because you're part of our community," she said.
For Peters, he considers raising awareness about addiction to be tikkun olam. "If one person reaches out and gets sober or one parent improves their connection with their child, it's all worth it," he said. "It's healing the world."
To learn more about or to register for the Chicagoland Jewish Recovery Passover Seder, email intake@tikvahhealing.org.
Julie Mangurten Weinberg is a Northbrook-based freelance journalist with more than 25 years of experience in broadcast, print, and digital media.
